Noonah writes "Baby sitting - just who is in charge here?"

One evening last week, Erica and Pat set off for a Maia-free evening, leaving me in charge at home. Maia, however, had other ideas.

She said goodbye to Mummy and Daddy at the front door and waved and blew kisses until they were safely in the car. Then she firmly shut the door, looked me straight in the eye and said, in a very determined tone, "Now we can have a feast in the dark."

Somewhat taken aback, I burbled "Feast in the dark? But we've had supper..."

It was definitely bath-and-bed time. It soon became very clear that I was not going to get away with hurrying her upstairs for ablutions and slumber right away. So, since grandmas are allowed to spoil a little out of sight of the parents, we set off to the kitchen to prepare for a Feast in the Dark.

Maia announced that she wanted Food. What food? "Feast Food" she replied in a manner which left me in no doubt that she had suddenly realised she was dealing with a complete idiot. So, under Maia's direction, we collected Feast Food - sliced bananas, sliced oranges, small squares of marmite on toast, milk and a glass of water each.

We took our Feast Food into the front room and turned out all the lights and sat in front of the fire and ate our feast.

Damn but the kid has some great ideas!