Oh the Adventures We Will Have....

Maia is planning some BIG TIME adventures in Nassau. Her latest plan is to go to the sea with Alec. So far, so good. And easily achieved.

Then she will get some food from the man and travel to the bottom of the sea and feed the sharks.

Uh huh.

"It will be OK, Mummy." She said in her Don't Be Silly voice.

"Alec will be there to make sure the sharks don't bite me."

I fear sitting on Rose, pottering a bit, is going to seem tame in comparison. Ah well, as long as she has Her Alec, I think she will be fine.

Maia's Solution to A Clash of Engagements

We got an invitation at nursery this week to Alistair and Lewis's joint 4th birthday party. Maia ripped into the envelope and thrust me half an invite

"What does it say, Mummy?"

I read it out to her, before I realised that the party is on the 6th May, and we are leaving for Nassau on the 4th. Ah.

I explain to Maia that Alistair and Lewis are having a party, but that we will be in Nassau seeing Noonah and Alec and Papi.

"Oh." She says

"I KNOW! Lets call the airplane and tell them that we can't come on the plane yet, because we have to go to Alistair and Lewis's party! Then we can go to Nassau."

"Well, we have already bought the tickets, darling, and if we don't use them when we say we will, then they might not let us go."

"I KNOW! We can buy some more tickets!"

"Well, they have run out. So we can't get any more. I think we are going to miss this party"

Given that there was a snotty note on the bottom of the invite stating "The show starts at 12.15, so DON'T BE LATE!" I was not too distressed at the thought of missing a party that combined uptight parents with a children's entertainer, lots of sweeties and a million 3 and 4 year olds...

"I KNOW! We could take everyone to Nassau with us!"

Problem solving a la Maia

Every Girl Needs A Pair

We did our seasonal shop at Hennes today - sweeping up nice bright, cheap and cheerful basics for the summer (and our holiday!) As soon as we got into the shop, Maia gravitated towards the shiny things, and had to be reminded relatively strongly that we had to get clothes first and THEN we could look at the shiny things.

An armful of tops and skirts and trousers later, she rushed over to the tiaras and father boas (I kid you not) to ooooh and aaaah alot. She was there with Pat, who I think she thought was going to be a soft touch, but he proved to be resistant to the charms of the sparkle ("But Daddy, look! It has a tiara and a wand!")

I found a pair of shiny pink ballet pumps in her size and brought them over. Totally impractical. No ankle support, shiny pink non-leather, will probably give her blisters if she wears them for too long. In other words, totally wonderful.

"Maia, how about these for dress up?"

"OOOOOOH" she said, "They are Fairy Princess Ballerina shoes!" and her pupils dilated, and she moved towards the shoes, mesmerised.

Needless to say, we bought them, and she hasn't taken them off since.

Where Have All The White Eggs Gone?

We want to do some egg dying tomorrow, while Maia is off school and it is Easter and all, but there are no white eggs anywhere! They are all brown. Or light blue - if you want to spend an extra quid or two and buy Colombian Blacktail eggs from Waitrose.

All I want are some plain old white eggs to paint with food colouring for Easter. Goodness. Political correctness gone clucking mad, I tells ya.

3 Maia, By Maia, 3

Park, 'Ave A New Princess

At Millhouses Park today, Maia attempted a very ambitious, over the water, post-to-post jump on the Adventure Trail and came a cropper. She slipped off her post and did a spectacular faceplant into a huge puddle of mud (or muddle, as we later christened it.)

She was wailing in shock and anger. I got to her in half a second, and, after checking for broken bones and blood, started making soothing, "lets-go-get-cleaned-up" noises. She really was covered in mud - hands, up one arm, most of one leg, a good half of the face. A fair clump of hair too. And an ear.

It took her a while to realise the extent of the coverage...And when she realised it had got to her hair, she came over all Princess Pink Maia...

"Oh Mummy!" she wailed, "I have mud in my Goldilocks!"

She snivelled most of the way to the park cafe loos, but perked up mightily upon mention of tea and cakes to soothe fallen-overness. I think she quite enjoyed the drama of stripping off and washing in the sink, and she had a long conversation with a group who saw her go in (muddy) and come out (less muddy).

One gingerbread man and a discussion about wet and slippery play equipment later, we were all good. Even if she still had pretty dirty Goldilocks.

A LickAndAPromise

Pat went upstairs last night to check on the bath he had just run. He put his hand in to test the temperature, and when it reappeared blue and frosty, we knew there was a problem.

So, time to check the boiler. There is an off/on switch that normally cures all things boilerish and we flicked that in the anticipation that, upon restart, we would have a fully functioning hot water system. Boom, boom, boom! Big booms coming from a thing wot burns gas meant we switched it off, double-quick-time.

No hot water, so Maia was introduced to the LickAndA Promise. A lick (a little wash) and a promise (to wash more thoroughly next time).

Although in her case, it was a babywipe and a promise...

Sandal Scandal

£40. FORTY QUID!

for a pair of CHILD'S SANDALS.

They were cute...Made by Stones & Bones, bright turquoise, velcro straps with a really nice supporting ankle strap. The selling point for Maia was the big, sparkly jeweled flower on the front. However, given that we managed to kit her out in her winter boots (all 4 pairs of them - leopard print included) for only £10 more than that, we regretfully passed, and went for some more practical, if apple green, Startrite ones.

There I was thinking that I had to win the lottery to buy shoes for ME...

Trust Me, Women Can Park

Summer's coming! Summer's coming! Summer's coming! Summer's coming! SUMMER IS COMING!! Hurrah!

We had a pre-summer park trip last Friday with Paula and Isabel, Aine and Cory, Sue, George, Maia and I. Was fun, if a little over-fraught with squabbles and trips to the tea shop and rain.

However, come the long summer evenings, we can take a picnic and laze on the grass drinking white wine spritzers while the kids exhaust themselves! Yay!

Looooooooooooooooooooong Weekends in Easter

To save money, and spend a bit more time with Maia, I (rashly) decided to take Maia out of school on Mondays and Fridays during the Easter break. So for the next 2 weeks, I will be having loooooooooong weekends with Maia.

Tomorrow we have a shopping trip planned, to buy:
a new chest of drawers for Maia's room
pink paint for craft - she wants to make a piglet mask following our farm trip(s) this week
a new computer for me as my laptop died a terminal death
some sandals and a swimsuit for Maia for Nassau.

Yeah, I can see how this is going to save me loads of money.

Oh Silly Mummy!

Jasmine is 4. To celebrate, Naomi and Ian took an entire herd of little sprogs to Cannon Hall Farm near Barnsley.

I was going to take Maia, as millions of sugar-hyped kids is very much not Pat's cup of tea. Anyway, Maia and I dashed out of the house (ten minutes late already! Bugger!) and began the trip to Barnsley. 45 minutes and countless games of I-Spy later, we pulled up, still ten minutes (and a bit) late. We paid-and-displayed, and made our way to the entrance. Knowing I was late, I called Naomi and said "Hello - we are here, where abouts are you?"

"Morrison's. The party is tomorrow."

Bugger bugger bugger

Anyway, I explained my mistake to Maia who said "Oh Silly Mummy!" which pretty much summed it up.

Maia and I went in anyway, saw lots of cute guinea pigs, rabbits, llamas, sheep, chicken, and piglets. Oh the piglets! They were tiny and supercute. Disturbingly, the vent from the cafe was next to the building housing the piglets, so all I could smell was tasty bacon. But otherwise, it was very cool.

Maia was seriously excited about washing her hands, to the extent that I was thinking OCD. When I talked to her about it, she explained that they have sinks her size so she can do everything allbyherself. Which is fair enough.

As I was rehearsing for swashbuckling on Sunday morning, Pat did the return trip. So, having been thwarted on her farm trip last week (link) Maia got to go twice in one weekend.

What Maia Wants To Be When She Grows Up

Maia and I were pottering in the spare room, I was changing the bedsheets and Maia was wiping down the big wardrobe with a baby wipe (as you do). She was having a really good time, demanding to be picked up and held up high so she could get the dusty bits higher up, tutting at how dirty the wipe was getting. (Come to think of it, maybe it wasn't dirt...baby wipes do have extraordinary cleaning/surface stripping abilities. Maybe it was actually stripping varnish. Note to self, get polish wipes upstairs).

Anyway, Maia was having a ball. She turned to me and said

"Mummy, when I am big I can do lots of cleaning. I want to be a cleaner when I grow up."

I said

"Wow, OK." After a beat, I said "You could be a Doctor if you wanted to, you know..."

"No. I don't want to be a Doctor. I want to be a cleaner."

Later on that day we were in the car, singing songs. She said

"When I get big I can sing all the time. I want to be a singer."

Ah ha, I thought. Much better.

"...A singer and a cleaner.."

Ten Winkers!

Maia and I were playing in her room this afternoon. We have a game we play where I pretend to be asleep and she can't wake me with anything other than a kiss. Kind of Sleeping Beauty meets Leave Mummy Alone For 40 Winks...

Anyway, Maia was jumping up and down, yelping, yellering and generally making loads of noise. She then started to blow furzibberts. Now, I don't know if you have ever had a furzibbert off a three year old, but they tend to be very wet and not very noisy. Which, of course, is the exact opposite of their intention. Anyway, after a few REALLY spluttery ones (ugh) Maia got me good. A loud, thundercracker of farty noise exploded on my belly and I burst out laughing.

"Mummy! You are supposed to be having ten winkers! You can't wake up now because that wasn't a kiss!"

It most certainly wasn't. And there was no way I was going to get back to sleep after that one, either. Ten winkers indeed.

Time For A Natter About Anatomy?

Maia and Pat were in the bath together one evening. Maia is quite curious about bodies, and which bits do what...curiosity which led to the following exchange:

"Daddy, what are those things by your willy?"

"Ummmmm"

"Are they filled with poo?"

Pat couldn't speak for laughing, but managed to let her know that they were not, in fact, filled with poo.

Time for the "Where Did I Come From" books to make an appearance, I think.

Sneaky Thumb and Jumping Tall

Maia can play a scale! All eight notes up from middle c and sometimes back down again. Right AND left hand....

She uses the Sneaky Thumb to sneak under going up, and the Jumping Tall to jump over going down. It is REALLY cool.

All the piano teachers we have talked to say that they don't take on anyone younger than 5, so we are going to keep it to short, enjoyable bursts of playing. And long, probably insufferable bursts of boasting.

Well, Some Are Quacks....

We were sat at breakfast one Saturday morning, deciding what to do with the day. Mum had to go and get a prescription filled, and asked Maia if she fancied An Expo-disshun. Maia's face lit up, and she very enthusiastically jumped down from her seat and pottered over to get her boots on.

Pleasantly surprised, as sometime Maia is a bit of a homebody ('I just want to stay home and play in my room with YOU Mummy') Mum got her ready and off they went.

When they returned, it became clear why she was so keen to go. We said 'pharmacy'; she heard 'farm'.

Her confusion at the lack of ducks and sheep et al was explained to her, and in recompense Noonah bought her a bottle of (mermaid-adorned) bubble bath. Jasi's birthday (at a real farm) is this Saturday, so she will get her fix soon enough.

I Spy

Maia and I play I Spy in the car on the way home from nursery pretty much every day. Yesterday she had me in stiches.

"I spy, with maia little eye, something beginning with 'tuh'. The letter 'T'. Do you want a clue, Mummy?"

"Sure, sweetpea. Something beginning with tuh... I can't think of ANYTHING. You will have to give me a clue."

"It is in your mouth, but it isn't bitey like your teeth. It is very licky."

"Is it tongue?" I said, giggling.

"Yes! You are very good at this Mummy. How did you guess that?"

Her clues are great - they usually take the form of little stories and always apply impeccable Maia logic...

The Visit to Isabel's House

"Go Away, Mummy!"

Maia and Isabel were outraged that we thought they would need supervision. They were Big Girls, and were perfectly fine to play in Isabel's room All By Themselves.

Until Maia got stuck in Isabel's brother's cot. Then they hollered downstairs for us to come and rescue her. When we came upstairs, they were both semi-nekkid and the clothes that Maia did have on were not her own. Banished again, we duly went back downstairs.

Obviously, Getting Stuck In The Cot was a fun game, as Maia clambered in and had to be rescued a few more times before it got boring.

I spent a pleasant afternoon with Paula, drinking tea and playing with David, who is one. We even discussed the possibility of starting sleep-overs for the girls. They play really nicely together, and did spend most of dinner asking if Maia was going to stay the night.

I suppose they figure it took so long for us to organise this afternoon's play that they better start asking early... So stay tuned. Sleep-overs to follow. June, probably...

Isabel and Maia Learn the Art of Sincere Deception

Isabel and Maia have been trying to organise their parents for about 3 weeks now. Every time I go to pick up Maia she says 'Can Isabel come to my house today?' When I say 'No darling, but I can call Isabel's mother and we will have her to play another day' she says, 'Well, can I go to Isabel's house then?'

I just talked to Paula (Isabel's mum) on the phone to arrange an afternoon playing at their house. She tells me that it is exactly the same for her - everytime she goes to nursery, she encounters A Maia and An Isabel determined to go to anyone's house, as long as it is together.

Last week, they managed to convince the nursery staff that Maia was going round to Isabel's for tea. They had begun talking about it early in the day, and were so convinced, so sincere, that the staff believed them. When Paula came to collect Isabel, she found Maia there, in her coat, all ready to go. Maia was gently told that it wasn't going to happen, and that she had to go home with her own mummy that day.

Apparently she wasn't too distressed. She may have been experiencing the toddler equivalent of 'It's a fair cop, guv...'

A Sweet Nature

Maia and I were going to the supermarket. We rounded the corner at the top of the hill and saw a beautiful sky, blue with clouds tinged with orange and pink. Maia said

'Mummy look! The clouds have been kissed by the sun and their cheeks are pink!'

It made me feel all wistful and almost weepy.

Then, on the way home, she saw a house with leafless ivy covering the wall. She said

'Yuck, look, Mummy, that house is all hairy.'

A touch less romantic, perhaps, but still a poetic interpretation.