Bridge

A supremely complicated game with silly rules, for people who have too much time and too little to do.

Although, check back with me if I ever win a rubber...

BahamasAir - A Uniquely Bahamian Experience.

BahamasAir was late. Not a huge surprise, but you always hope that they will be able to take off on time, especially when we were booked on only their second flight of the day. Nassau - Marsh Harbour. So, delayed, we pottered about the one room terminal, got some grits and sausage to eat (they were out of corned beef - no fire engine!) and ran after Maia. Up and down, up and down, up and down.

We finally got called to the gate and made our way outside, only to be stood under the little covered walkway next to the plane for a while. Long enough for Maia to try and get naked anyway, which on this trip, means long enough to say 'Maia, no, not here!'. The line to the plane was moving pretty slow, while people put their bags away, swopped seats and generally buggered about. All this would have been fine, were it not for the darkening of the sky and the unheralded opening of the heavens. A fellow passenger, white Bahamian and pretty vocal, started to yell at people "God Damn People! We got a baby gettin soak here, hurry ya ass!!"

Finally we got on the plane, only to find people in our seats. Fetching your own seats for BahamasAir is not unusual, but our steward told us that we were supposed to sit in the numbered seats. Ok, then, everybody move. We got everyone out, start to settle down, when a rather large Bahamian lady plonked herself down next to Mum, in Pat's seat, and refused to budge. Wet, bedraggled and not in the mood for recalcitrant travelers, Mum demanded the woman's ticket and finally succeeded in moving her on. Throughout this, Maia was still trying to get naked.

We were just about to take off, when a tourist realized that they were on the wrong flight.

Ah, BahamasAir. It is the little things that make the difference...

On Becoming a Sand Monster - Holiday 2005

My Dad (Maia's Papi) is a very accomplished man. He is well read, funny, a whizz at cards, works hard and is very good at what he does. He is also totally immune to the 'eeeewww' factor when it comes to sand. As a kid, I remember watching in awe as he would flop, face first, into a huge pile of sand on Rose Island and happily sleep in its grainy embrace. He would emerge, an hour or two later, rising from the sand like a Japanese B Movie monster to go and wash it off, usually treading on my carefully laid out, religiously sand-free towel.

Anyway, Maia's inital reaction to sand was very much closer to my end of the scale than his. She, when placed feet first on the sand, retracted her undercarriage and demanded that her feet be cleaned.

Papi decided that this was Not On. Time to Impart some Wisdom. Time to reveal the Secret of Being a Sand Monster.

I don't know what was said. I don't know how he did it. But he took a kid who spent 5 minutes cleaning between her toes after each step and sat with her in the ocean wash, getting enough sand in her keks to build a moderate sized castle. And in the process, set up this lovely, lovely photo.

Sand Monsters - Picture Two

Maia Meets Lorla - Holiday 2005

I think her heart was won the moment Maia mispronounced her name. 'It has been a long time since anyone has called me Lorla.' she said, smiling at Maia, and that, I think, was that.

Maia and Laura got on famously. Even more so after Laura :

• took her to the park and pushed her on the swings for half an hour without trying to move her onto another, less labour intensive, activity.
• gave her a mountain of Christmas gifts including bubbles and plasticine, books and bath toys
  
• made her some homemade pesto
• introduced her to Prince Mulder and his kitchen kittens (who make stew, so I am told)
• cooked her pancakes
• played with her every morning we stayed at Papi's house when Mummy and Daddy were far to tired to play

Maia has been born into two families with pretty complex family trees. Alec and I have two mightaswellbesiblings Gen and Jonothan, Pat and his brother Dominic have a much younger brother and sister from his father's second family.

All the family politics and feuds and fusses pass right over Maia, as they should. They mean nothing to her, and maybe, if we look through her eyes, they will mean less to us too.

Alpha Delta Baby - December 28th

Maia is a pretty seasoned traveller by now. She has been to the Bahamas, South Africa, back and forth to Barcelona a couple times, Devon...erm, Sheffield... you get the picture. Anyway, the trip over to Nassau was pretty good. We had a moderately uneventful 8 hour flight from Gatwick to Atlanta, a 2 hour stop over in Atlanta, then a 2 hour flight to Nassau.

Hurtling towards Atlanta, Maia made friends with the little boy in the seats in front of us (although only after failing to interest the doe-eyed Asian man behind us in playing with her playdoh) and we set up a play area by the emergency exits so they could sit and get jealous over their toys while his mother and I made small talk.

There was nothing suitable on TV (damn you, Delta, Shrek MUST be available for those little screens) but she watched a bit of Chinese kung-fu movie The House of Flying Daggers. All very pretty until they started cutting people's heads off, at which point I beagn to read stories with great verve and vigour. Even the Asian man behind us was impressed.

Arriving at Nassau airport was interesting. We had been saying the entire flight that we were Going To See Alec. 'If you don't put your seatbelt on, we won't be able to go, and then we won't see Alec!' 'If you go to sleep now, when you wake up, we will see Alec!'. So as soon as we arrived, Maia's tired eyes lit up and she attached herself to Alec with the glee of a limpet finding a piece of fresh rock in a nutrient stream.

Totally unaware that a Mitchell/Packington/Siddons family drama of pretty epic proportions was taking place around her, she lay her head on his shoulder and hugged like there was no tomorrow.

Unfortunately for Maia, Alec wasn't taking us home (Dad and Laura were). We then had the delicate job of removing a besotted toddler from her besotee and trying to interest her in sitting down AGAIN. The wail she let out was just heartbreaking, but we managed it.

A long day for a two year old, but she did pretty well.

Christmas...December 25th

Christmas started for us all when the next door neighbours Tony and Linda with their kids Gemma and Russell came round to exchange presents with Maia. Gemma brought the newest addition to her seriously impressive range of baby buggies. This one was in a radioactively shiny pink material with hearts all over it and contained a baby that moved its eyes and cried and took milk from a bottle. Maia was smitten. I was spooked. The grown-ups opened some champers and chatted as Maia pushed the buggy about and looked avariciously at the rest of the presents.

According to Pat, Christmas Day is about eating, laying about, drinking, laying about, presents, watching crap telly and having another drink. So he wasn't overwhelmed with enthusiasm at our plan to take Maia walking in Cassiobury Park. At least he was, until it was made clear that he would have to come too.

It was pretty cold, so we bundled Miss Maia up in coat, gloves, hat (her not-very PC-Russian-furry-one, no less) and all tramped and huffed our way through a lovely walk in the woods. We saw a very cool canal boat pass through a lock, got adopted by a yappy dog and got very muddy trousers.

Back home (oooh warmth!) we decided it was 5pm somewhere in the world, and therefore not too early for a sherry. Christmas drinking is great - you get to drink all these things that you would never normally (sherry, Baileys, port, Tia Lusso etc etc) and ridiculously early too...

Before dinner we made an assault on the present mountain. Maia took equal interest in the wrapping paper as the contents, which was up from last year's total focus on the crinkly shiny stuff that made presents interesting. Good haul for her this year - books, crayons, paints, puzzles, musical instruments, DVDs, more books, clothes, teddies, loads of stuff.

Anyway, dinner was produced (details are a bit hazy, I have to admit...) and was very tasty. Maia blew out the candles and we sang Happy Birthday. Maia was an angel, and went to sleep pretty well. Again, though, the details are hazy...Pat put her to sleep while TV put me to sleep.

Happy Birthday Jesus.

Children's Christmas Service...December 24th

Abbots Langley Children's Christmas Service has a real live donkey. I don't think they let it in the church, so it sits outside munching apples and bemusedly accepting congratulations for carrying Baby Jesus to Bethlehem from pious 4 year olds.

We, though agnostic/atheist, decided that the Mass would be good theatre and would let us introduce Maia to the joy (?) of carol singing. She seemed to enjoy the experience, although did pipe up and volunteer the information that the Baby Jesus was really Molly's sister Bethany. At the end, there was a candle-lit procession past the Nativity scene and out into the church yard to congratulate the donkey and shake hands with the vicar.

We ended up directly behind one of the Three Kings, and I couldn't help but feel slightly guilty. I never ever go to church, and I wonder if being behind a Three King in such a high calender event is a bit of a coveted position. Don't know why - it is actually quite nerveracking, what with all the billowing robes and candles and kids. Feels a bit like the 'before' film in a 999 programme. Maia soon distracted me from such thoughts by singing Happy Birthday and blowing out my candle.

I am sure she came away with some fairly warped ideas about the Christmas Story, but it was fun none-the-less.

Oh God, Not the Pink Marshmallows - December 23rd

A Lost Boy? What the hell does a Lost Boy wear?? In the midst of packing for Nassau and Christmas and house moving came the Funny Farm Christmas Party. The theme was Peter Pan, and Maia was instructed to come as a Lost Boy.

After the initial narrowing of the eyes (She is not good enough to be Tinkerbell?? Just look at that pretty little face! Look at those curls! That doesn't scream Tinkerbell to you??) followed by conscious effort on my part to save it for the casting director for Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (see Funny Face from the Funny Farm), I constructed a costume using only a pair of pajamas, a dinosaur print teeshirt and a tie tyed sarong. So that is what a Lost Boy looks like...

Maia had a whale of a time and it was great to see her interact with all of her friends. Lewis and she spent a good deal of time chasing each other round and round the hall, squealing with delight. Lewis was dressed up as a pirate, which attracted alot of attention from the kids, as it seemed to be the one costume that allowed you to draw on your face. (Now, whenever Maia holds a pen up to her cheek and is told not to draw on her face, she says in a don't-be-silly voice "But I am being a pirate".)

Activities included musical lilypads, with everyone jumping like frogs from one green spot on the floor to the other until the music stopped, singing songs practiced during the year ("soggy semolina, soggy semolina, Ding Dang Dong, Ding Dang Dong") and dancing to very loud, very raucous music.

After a great deal of running around, and a moral dilemma for Pat ("But it feels wrong to drink beer at a kids party") the kids sat down to eat. Now, normally every morning at the Funny Farm, Maureen cooks up a batch of stew packed with chicken and veggies and good stuff. But this was Christmas, and that meant E Numbers with a sprinkling of colouring and a dash of sugar. Before we had even sussed out where she was sitting, Maia had whipped open the cracker containing the sweeties and was cramming them into her mouth with the look of a girl who knew she would lose them if she didn't eat them RIGHT NOW. By the time we reached her she had one slightly damp pink marshmallow left and I didn't have the heart (or the strength) to remove it from her vice-like grip.

We won something or other in the raffle, and emerged, dazed, carrying a tired and somewhat sugared-out Maia. Given that this is a girl that can make one jellybean last a good 20 minutes, I reckon her system is still recovering.

Three in a Bath - 21st December 2004

Tanya, Tom and Charlotte came for dinner and a movie (Oh Shrek! Where would we be without you?) and some running about outside with Pat... (for Tom and Charlotte, of course, Tan and I stayed in the warm and drunk tea.)

Tom really enjoyed spending time with Pat - running about outside, popping bubbles and yelling and shouting for all he was worth. Charlotte and Maia were also outside for a while, but didn't partake so enthusiastically of the 'spin-me-round, no, throw-me-in-the-air, no, chase-me' games. They preferred to come inside and toddle about the place on the ladybird and bike trundle toys.

We did dinner in stages, with kids eating first, then grown-ups sitting down to the delicate strains of Shrek and mild squabbles from the other room. After dinner, it was bathtime for the three of them.

Maia was only slightly put out that there seemed to be FAR more people in her bath than normal, and soon was happily making introductions to all her bath toys, teletubbies and sponges. After a small spat over who would be washed with the ladybird (Maia) and who would hold Tinky-Winky (Charlotte) we hauled them out, dried them off and sent them downstairs for milk and cookies. After milk and cookies for the little ones and tea for the grown-ups we waved goodbye to the clan as they made their way home.

A good afternoon all round I think - loads of fun but MAN more than one baby is alot of work. I definitely have the utmost admiration and awe for people like Tan who have to manage TWO kids (or more) day in and day out. I would be run ragged. I think one baby is fine for me, for the moment.

Backlog! Bear With Me....

LOADS to tell you about, so I will do my best to post a post a day till we are up and current...

Maia Nets Some New Fans

Saturday afternoon Maia, Pat, Noonah and myself joined a Christmas friends and family get-together at Fish! in the middle of Borough Market organised by Hannah, a good friend of mine from University.

There were supposed to be 12 of us, and the table was duly laid for 12. However (as always happens at these things) more people turned up, and the atmosphere quickly got very friendly as everyone squished up and re-organised tables and chairs to make room.

Hannah instantly endeared herself to Maia by presenting her with a set of plasticine blocks and cutters. The grown-ups joined Maia in making shapes and models with great enthusiasm and creativity...which almost bordered on Taking Over. Highlights were Andrew's lobster effort and Maia's pizza for Hannah.

During the meal, Maia sat at the head of the table and behaved brilliantly, chatting to the people around her, colouring in, playing with her plasticine and purloining most of the chips meant for the top half of the table.

The plan for the lunch was that, part way through, we would all get up and swop places. This provided the perfect opportunity for Hannah's mum, Sue, to get a vicarious grandchild fix. Sue was smitten, while Hannah and her brother Dominic sent her warning, Don't-Get-Any-Ideas glances.

Later on, Dominic's gf Becky entertained Maia by taking pictures of her, and letting her take pictures of the table and herself and Mummy and Andrew and herself and Andrew's Dad and herself.

At dessert, Maia spurned apple crumble and custard to cherry-pick the blueberries, grapes and strawberries from Noonah's fruit salad while supping milk that arrived in a perfectly Maia-sized jug. Subsequently, Noonah's coffee was blacker than she normally takes it, but she didn't seem to mind too much.

Hugely full, and a little merry from the wine and good conversation, we hopped on the train to get home. Maia's enthusiasm for the tube train brought a smile to the face of our fellow passengers, and our extended trip back (cancelled train) included a taxi ride. Sharing a cab with another couple who were also going to Kings Langley was made far less awkward by the fact that Maia chatted ALL THE WAY THERE. We heard about her day, what she did last weekend (see cheetah story...) that she didn't like loud banging noises, that monkeys and lions are her favourite animals. She even gave them her bestest meercat impression.

I think a future in entertainment is beckoning...

Lewis the Horse, and It Ain't Every Day You Get Sniffed at by a Cheetah.

Pat, Maia and I went down to Covent Garden to meet up with Aunty Jellybean on Saturday afternoon. Maia loves going on trains, but was less sure about the crush of people who also decided that Covent Garden on a Saturday was a good idea. Gen instantly endeared herself to Maia by giving her a colourful, and fabulously noisy, tambourine to keep her occupied. Oddly, our reaction was slightly less keen...

After a while chatting to the various Bahamians who tipped up, we decided to go and see if we could seek out some street performers to show Maia. We found a lady singing opera very loudly, and a couple of performers who had a Charlie Chaplin/mime/balloon manipulator thing going on. She wasn't desperately impressed.

However, all that changed when we discovered the carousel. Our timing was perfect, as the last go round was coming to an end, so Pat and Maia hopped onto the first available horse, paid their pound and cheered as they started to go round. Maia waved enthusiastically each time she spun round to where I was standing, and had a great time. When they dismounted, I noticed that her horse was called Lewis. As Lewis at the Funny Farm is 'her favourite', she thought this was fabulous, and remarked on it quite a few times.

Sunday was a bit of a grey day, and as is rapidly becoming tradition, we decided to take Maia to a zoo. The (rather optimistically named) Paradise Wildlife Park in Broxbourne was our choice.

I am sure in the summertime the Paradise Wildlife Park is a pretty inviting place to be, but on a cold winter Sunday, it is actually ever-so-slightly sinister. It was very quiet, as most people were sensibly doing Inside Things. We saw a parrot display where the parrots outnumbered the audience, and at times wondered if we were the only people in there.

However, all this did mean we had no competition for the best spots to view all the animals up close and pretty personal.

There are lots of cats at PWP, lions, tigers, cheetahs, ocelots - you name it, they've got it - and they are displayed in large enclosures with glass viewing windows cut into the cage. When we came to the cheetah enclosure, two of the cats were right up against the window cleaning each other. Maia was just tall enough to stand by herself and see through the glass, and as soon as she arrived the cheetahs looked right at her, and sniffed at her through the glass. She thought this was truly wonderful.

We disturbed a bundle of meercats and showed them our bestest meercat impressions, then ruined all the good feeling generated by screeching like eagles so we could watch them scatter. We saw lions being fed ex-bunnies (full of life lessons, these trips) and got snorted at by a camel. After some hot chocolate, a ride on a fire engine and a plate of chips, it was time to go home.

On the way home, Maia decided that the lions were her favourite. Closely followed by the monkeys. And the meercats...

My Birthday Strikes a High Note

It was my 28th Birthday on Monday (ack ack ack feel old!).

It was a pretty good haul this year - I got a beautiful burgandy cashmere poncho from Pat, a fabulous waterprint suitcase from Mum, Dad and Alec and a wire palm tree to sit in the fruitbowl from Maia. However, I didn't really get to open any of these myself. Maia appointed herself Chief Present Unwrapper and did a fabulous job. I suspect no-one in the house will be opening their own presents this Christmas.

However, it was when it came time for cake and candles that she really outdid herself. Drawing on her extensive experience from her own birthday, she serenaded me with a rendition of 'Happy Birthday' that was so high in the middle that only dogs and very specialized CIA/MI6 equipment could pick it up. Watch out Tiri Te Kanawa, my kid's got range like you wouldn't believe.

Toot & Puddle

Mog is favourite no more. We have a new set of books that are requested time and again (and again.) Ladies and Gentlemen, a round of applause for Toot & Puddle.

Toot & Puddle are pigs who live together in Woodcock Pocket. Toot is adventurous and thrill seeking (one story sees him travel to Provence on a whim, where he finds a little place called CouCou Poche) while Puddle prefers to stay home, cook, go ice skating, walk in the woods and do home stuff. They are best friends, and the books celebrate difference and friendship.

They are beautifully drawn, sweet without being sickly and, more importantly, NOT BORING TO READ!!!

Hurrah and deepest thanks to Dr Kris and Kathy for sourcing books that can be enjoyed by parent AND child. Trust me, it is a rare feat.

Maiasaurus!!

With thanks to Google Images...and HarperCollins, and anyone else I have to thank to not get shouted at for copyright stuff...
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The Ballad of Angel Mouse, by Pat

If you’re in trouble and you need a friend
Angel Mouse is just round the bend
Just call Angel Mouse, Angel Mouse

If you’re having trouble when you’re trying to play
And a little boy called Louie keeps on getting in the way
Just call Angel Mouse, Angel Mouse

She’s small but strong and haven’t you heard?
She growls like a tiger and flies like a bird
It’s Angel Mouse, Angel Mouse

When the Rowly Monsters are out to play
Angel Mouse will chase them away
Just call Angel Mouse, Angel Mouse

If supper's horrid - the worst you’ve ever seen
Angel Mouse will bring you a JellyBean
Just call Angel Mouse, Angel Mouse

She’s small but strong and haven’t you heard?
She growls like a tiger and flies like a bird
It’s Angel Mouse, Angel Mouse

And when it's time to have a doze
Angel Mouse will tickle your nose
Just call Angel Mouse, Angel Mouse

Now you’re asleep it's time, I think
For Angel Mouse to bring me a stiff drink
Just call Angel Mouse, Angel Mouse

She’s small but strong and haven’t you heard?
She growls like a tiger and flies like a bird
It’s Angel Mouse, Angel Mouse

A Ranking of SuperHeroes, According to Maia

When one is dealing with Rowly Monsters - whether they be Things that Lurk in Dark Corners or Mummy pretending - it is neccesary to have a means of defense.

Maia's method is pretty cool. She flings out her hand, palm outwards and shouts "Spiderman!" or occasionally "Batman!" and the Rowly Monsters cower, disappear, or at least burst out laughing.

At lunch last Sunday, while Maia demonstrated her technique, Jenny G noted the gender bias in this tactic. What about WonderWoman? Couldn't she help? Agreeing that Maia should have a strong female superhero to defend herself with, I have enthusiastically encouraged her to shout "WonderWoman!" when confronted with the Rowly Monster. I have little to report in the way of success.

Matters were further complicated this morning when Noonah decided that "Dangermouse!" would be a good call. Maia looked at us quizzically and said "Angelmouse?"

She is right...In the grand scale of SuperHeroes, Angelmouse is pretty far down.

Perhaps we will stick with Spiderman and Batman for the moment. At least until someone develops a proper female superhero. Maybe she objects to the whole 'saving the world in hotpants and bangles' thing that WonderWoman has got going on... Who knows.

Making Choices, The Song

We were in a rush and Maia wouldn't choose which shoes to wear, Jumping Boots or Purple Butterflies. So (in an effort to distract/hurry things along) I decided to teach her the classic choosing song Eeny Meeny Miny Mo. She decided to make it a little bit more personal to her.

Her version:

Eeny Weeny Maia Mo
Catch a Tiger by the toe
If it hollers, let it go
Eeny Weeny Maia Mo

In the end, she wore the Purple Butterflies. And took the Jumping Boots with her...

(One In The) Eye For Fashion

Maia is becoming more willful (more? oh man...) and one way that this is being expressed is in her clothing choices.

Yesterday morning we left for the Funny Farm in:

a yellow, pink and dark blue dress (from Dr Kris and Kathy)
stripy tights of yellow, pink, blue, red, green and white
raindrop print blue welly boots,
clutching her pink, purple, white and yellow flowery handbag.

At least we know she won't get lost...